What I was saying before about leaving them once they say they love me... I did it again with another guy. Except, I didn't mean to. I didn't FREAKIN mean to! And I'm so damn good at what I do, the whole leaving bit, that there's no coming back. The first guy, the one that haunted my first few entries was another one I didn't mean to say goodbye to. Though that was completely his fault. I was either staying or going and if he'd just met me that day I would have probably stayed. He didn't meet me, so I left.
But this time, I'm still around this guy, and knowing that telling him I couldn't do this anymore was the worst thing I could do in that situation... Even though it was because of the situation because I went slightly crazy and did stupid things that I knew would hurt me once I regained my freaking brain function. I went numb and in the space of 3 days I screwed up things getting better for me. The other boy. The one that has only told me he loves me when he's drunk... Meh. He wasn't around this weekend, so he didn't see my crazy, and I doubt he ever will.
I keep saying I went numb. The truth is, I'm still numb. Everything's coming back and hitting me in the face.
Rubbish.
